The sad truth

 I feel sad today..the problem is that not only am I bipolar, but I am also sick in my intestines, which really brings me down sometimes because of the pain it causes. It can be hard sometimes to keep a smile on my face, when life shows me the worst side of being alive, but I try, I do it for my kids, they dont need to see my tears, they need to feel safe and be loved, which they always are.

But inside I feel broken, I feel like life has let me down, it should not have been like this, I dont diserve this, I am a good person, I dont understand why this is happening to me. I feel like someone has put a curse on me, and it just wont stop.

If I did not have my kids, I would have sunken really deep in depression, I can feel it in my gut, I know my body and my feelings, and they are both screaming for help!

This day is shit! Remember you are allowed to think that, to say that, you dont have to lie and pretend that everything is okey, that will only make things shittyer. Just own it, live it and then throw it the fuck away.

Im okey, or I will be, I know that. I am strong, I have been through so much and Im still standing, no one has been able to be anything else than me, I still have my wierd but beautiful brainer, I still have a lot of empati, love, kindness and so one, I am still me, and that is all that counts. So..im gonna let this day be shit and think about how I can change it, it always works to hug my kids, so I will do that, and of course, this also helps, and I hope it will help you to. So until next time, be you, be sad , be happy, it doesnt matter, as long as you're still you!